Hi Clients and Readers,
Thanks so much for all of the helpful feedback about my new website. It’s still a work in progress, so feel free to let me know what you think.
This summer is getting away from us at my home, so my wife and I recently revisited that “3 Family Rules” with our kiddos.
Our 3 Family Rules are:
We Are Kind
We Do Our Jobs
We Are Honest
The above rules all paint a broad brush for a reason. Most any issue or behavior problem can fit into one of the above. I like having a lot of latitude as a parent in what my expectations are and in what any forthcoming consequences will be, should that become necessary. The old “you didn’t tell me that” will happen anyway, so I stick with “you know the rules and it’s up to you to follow them”. Yes disagreements still happen, but it’s the child’s job to “sit and think” before they act. If we give them the impression that we will do all the thinking for them, or they get a pass if they can “lawyer up” with a good excuse, we will see MORE limit testing. Vague rules have a place, and the above ones work if you stick with the general expectations therein.
For instance, look at the rules list below (assuming I can post it correctly) and you’ll see that all of these rules can fit in one of the three listed above.
My point is a simple one (as usual)…stick with general expectations and then apply them to specific situation. Use rewards and consequences to address the child’s adherence to the household rules. The above list has “No Shouting or Calling Names”…which is of course under “We are Kind” on my list…”Keep all cloths off your floor”…”We do our Jobs”…”No Hitting” = Kindness, and so on.
On a side note, I really disagree with rule #1. 3 warnings??? Why not 5 or 6? I’ll post more about this soon.
Go here to read more about the use of rewards and consequences.
Feel free to email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
I welcome any feedback or suggestions. I’ll still be blogging my ideas on Children and Families and would love your ideas and participation!
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle
William Strong, LCSW
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